Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Guest List

His list. Number 104:
"Irish Si."
"What do you mean 'Irish Si'? What's his surname?"
A frowning Him: "Dunno actually."
"You can't bloody have someone on the list if you don't know their surname."
We are three drinks in to the Dutch courage it has taken to start our Guest List.
My homage to starting this blog yesterday is finding a nice beer garden in Greenwich and ordering halves of Guinness to Jamie's pints. Because that stone is not going to lose itself.
That and the fact we brim with Celtic genes.
Jamie, who may possibly have a medical phobia about being told what to do, is affronted.
"Of course he's coming. I've had at least ten of the best nights out I've ever had with Irish Si."
To settle the matter, he calls a friend who furnished him with Simon's surname. With a flourish, he adds this to his list, along with a 'plus one' for his wife.

We have set an upper limit of 200.
When I tell former brides this they pucker their lips and say things like "Oh that's...ambitious,""Really?" or "We had 120. That was more than enough."
It's not a boast of popularity; simply a reflection on the amount of friends you collect by the time you hit your early thirties.
School, university, work, kindred spirits picked up along the way. They mount up.
And I think Scottish weddings often are a bit bigger.
I have enforced a rules to keep things getting silly. I say enforced..it works for me and Jamie may come round.
1. If I didn't go to their wedding, they won't be at mine.
My intended says this is a silly rule. If you like them and want them there, what difference does it make? Your friendship may have changed since they wed.
2. Other than family, no children.
This is  a political minefield in itself and one best saved for a future post.
The real fear is of leaving someone loved and downright obvious off the wedding list.
Like the time mum forgot to pick a Great Aunt up for my seventh birthday party.
It wasn't until we were headed back from the church hall, where the little boys in kilts had stabbed each other with pencils and cried, that mum screeched the car to a halt.
She later apologised for the strange words that came out of her mouth.
Auntie had sat on her sofa for two hours waiting for us to arrive, before sighing and taking off her new dress.
When I think of her, I smile.
And that makes me think perhaps Jamie has it right after all.
What better 'rule' for inclusion than: I think of them and remember the good times. They're coming because they make me smile.


  1. Congrats, I'm going to follow your wedding blog with interest.
    The whole kids at weddings thing is such a hot potato - expect furious response!
    Bottom line, it's your wedding and if others don't like it they can get stuffed. It took me two goes to realise this.

  2. Afternoon tea on the last of the hot october days was how we finally got round to making the guestlist. Or I should say, how I finally bribed him. Originally we wanted 70 with no evening thing. We now have 100 plus 40 evening guests. But yes, I had to book him 3 days in advance for the conversation! We've only had one 10 minute wedding conversation since then!x

  3. Ellen, I'm coming round to your way of thinking. Doing what you want without being selfish is the balance to strike I think. Did you have children to your wedding?
    Hajar, good work on the doubling of original guest list. And why not, eh?

  4. We are limited to 100 for the reception, so we're having 100 all day. No stragglers appearing in the evening. Everyone enjoying the whole day together.
    Parents have been told that unless it's life or death, then kids aren't invited. I think so far we have 2 babies coming and -7 kids :) ruthless is the best way x

  5. Thanks Laura
    I agree. Especially if asking guests to travel far, a bit cheeky to say they can only come to the evening. Also concur on the kids front. I love them, but not screaming through the vows! X

  6. exactly, it's a wedding, not a day at playgroup x